Confession: There are quite a few episodes of original Star Trek I'd never seen. I recently set out to remedy that, since they're on Netflix now, and it's like watching a show that was made by a different culture. You know - like when you watch a European movie, and you can understand it, but you don't really relate to it.
Since Captain James Tiberius Kirk is the epitome of manly man-ness (tough but compassionate, intelligent and overprotective), I figured if Kirk flips out over something, it probably means it's something the Real Men of the 1960s were worried about, too.
I'm only through season one so far, and it seems pretty clear. In order of terrifyingness, Real Men feared:
Failure or loss of personal manliness: 8 episodes
Technology run amok: 8 episodes
Career/workplace failure: 7 episodes
Manipulative women: 4 episodes
Politicians: 3 episodes
Drugs/madness/ignorance: 3 episodes
Women occasionally have to avenge a father, brother, husband, or child, or put up with harassment at work, but they're really only afraid of one thing: Ending up with the wrong man, or no man. And since Kirk is really the only right man, it's a universe of failing. Sorry.
There are more than 29 total, because some episodes are in 2 categories. Here's the complete breakdown, by episode number (the original pilot is under the 2-part episode 11/12). Sometimes women get their own thing to be scared of.
1. I could be tricked (shapeshifting/telepathy) into having sex with a hideous, life-sucking monster.
2. A whiny teenager might steal my job. Women: a whiny teenager might rape me.
3. The guy who works for me might end up as my boss. Women: my boyfriend might be a power-tripping asshole.
4. I might get drunk around my coworkers, and they'd know what I'm really like.
5. If I stop acting tough, people will think I'm some kind of wuss.
6. I might get tricked (drugs) into having sex with an average-looking woman. Women: I might not be gorgeous enough to find a man.
7. Science might steal my humanity. (Women: my boyfriend could replace me with a sexbot.)
8. I might get beat up by a gang of kids. Women: I might die before I find a man.
9. Science might take away my free will. Women: He might just not be into me.
10. I might have a problem I can't punch/shoot my way out of.
11/12. MULTIPLE LESSONS!
I could be tricked (telepathy) into having sex with a woman who's disfigured/not gorgeous.
I could be paralyzed/disfigured and completely conscious but unable to move.
Someone who works for me could screw up my career.
13. The hot chick might be the murderer.
14. Some crazy foreigners might attack us with fancy new technology.
15. Anything that seems remotely enjoyable is actually a deadly trap that distracts me from focusing on my job.
16. A politician might take decision-making power away from the Real Men.
17. Some kid with fancy technology might be more powerful than me.
18. I might be forced to accept a peaceful resolution rather than getting my revenge.
19. I might have to be in a wacky time-travel episode.
20. Somebody might take the word of a computer over the word of a Real Man.
21. A computer could take away my manly rage and make me live a bland, peaceful life.
22. Science (genetics) could make supervillains who take all my stuff.
23. Wartime decisions might be made by a computer instead of by Real Men.
24. Drugs could make me think everything is great. (Side note: everything on Drug Planet apparently is actually great, but is still makes the Real Man mad)
25. Some blue-collar morons could start a war with their uneducated greed.
26. Someone might (telepathically) make me unable to fight/kill my enemies.
27. Someone with an undiagnosed psychological disorder could be in a position to destroy the universe.
28. I might have to let my girlfriend die, because otherwise the wussy "peace movement" will let the Nazis take over the world. (Also, another wacky time-travel episode)
29. Science will let me down when I finally admit I need it.
I mostly found it odd how overt all these things were. At the time, maybe they seemed more familiar ("Of course he wouldn't want to end up with her! She's like 35 or something! She was pretending to be younger!"), but now they seem... weird? sexist? paranoid? insecure?
But don't take my work for it - they're all on Netflix.
